Boundaries

It's a new year and I'm one who loves a fresh start. After a successful 30 pound loss a few years ago I joined Weight Watchers again to finally reach my goal. I stopped short last time thinking I could make it there on my own, but never did. Thankfully, I'm not back at square one, but actually right where I left off.

Last time I used the WW program, it was great! Very simple and easy to use. There is an app for it which made all the difference in my success. Every time I needed to make a decision about what to eat, I could consult my phone and was empowered to achieve my goal.  In the grocery store, out at a restaurant, even tips for portion sizes at those pot luck meals God lovin' church folk have, help was there.

If you are unfamiliar with how the WW plan works, each and every food is assigned a point value. Based on your starting place and goals, you are assigned an allotment of points each day to consume. You can earn points by exercise and there is also a weekly bank of extra points to pull from in the event of a sweet tooth that wont quit, a special occasion or an emotional/hormonal fit of desperation.

I really love this plan because it is so cut and dry. There is no guess work. There is also nothing that is totally off limits. I could have a Dairy Queen large vanilla malt shake! It would use my total daily allotment of points but I could do it! One of the best things about it is all fruits and veggies are zero points. So I could have that DQ milk shake and then eat salads and strawberries the rest of the day. Hey! There's a plan!

The good thing is I really do enjoy fruits and veggies. I have noticed in the past after a short time off refined sugar, natural sugar is plenty sweet and my craving for refined sugars are significantly less. And on those days I find myself really hungry, I can have all the apples and bananas I can handle. Of course those are the choices that lead to a healthy life and an ideal weight anyway. And herein lies a parallel I see in scripture.

We were given boundaries that Jesus summed up in saying love God and love others. Simple guidelines that should steer our every decision. Every choice can come under this filter: Will this enable to me love God and love others more? But there are times we are given to operate outside those borders and there is a bank of grace for that. Paul said that where sin abounds, grace abounds more.

There are also the fruit and veggies of life too. Paul gave us a list of actions in Galatians that we can do in abundance all day everyday; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. He said there are no limits on any of them. We can act fully in them with no recompense.

And just like fruits and veggies lead to a healthy life and idea weight, isn't it true that a life filled with the fruit of the Spirit lead us to being conformed into the image of Jesus? Also true is the craving issue. The more we indulge in the life in his Spirit, the less our desire is for the things of the flesh. How simple and concise. However, I'm pretty sure that self control is the equivalent of brussel sprouts. Bleh, someone pass me a Kiwi, that's gotta be joy or peace right?

Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Psalm 34:8

Lord Jesus, you are so faithful. How simple is your plan for abundant life for us. Thank you for the smorgasbord of options in food and in actions. For those days when my willpower is gone and I need your stockpile of unending grace, my soul is eternally grateful. Thank you for being with me in every choice I have to make. May they make you proud. I love you Lord. 

Covered

When we moved to IL I envisioned the winter to be filled with six feet of snow for three and a half months. It was a hopeful dream for this former snow deprived Fl girl. When we got here, the winters certainly produced more snow than central FL ever saw but not the likes what I envision maybe North Dakota enjoys. I'm of the philosophy that if it's going to be cold, let it snow. And lots of it! But around here the normal seems to be an inch or two every three or four weeks.

Last week brought two snows in rapid succession. I was giddy! My girls and I got out in the yard and made snowmen. Dirty snowmen mind you. Two inches is not enough to create what Hollywood does, but we had a great time none the less. Lumps of coal for eyes and a carrot for the nose just like the storybooks. Stinky Pete's snowman got a belt. So fashionable.

Later that afternoon we were driving through town while the warmth of the day was bidding the snow it's inescapable demise, my eye was caught by the beauty of the remaining small snow piles and tiny heaps. In certain places it lingers longer because the sun can never find it. Some rocks and yards look comparatively deep as they hide in the winter's shadows.  Branches and gardens look picture perfect covered in a fluffy white blanket.

But other areas are exposed to the bright warm rays. Science proves that the shallowest places will melt first and reveal the brown, dead earth beneath. Places of comparatively thick cold snow beside warmer places, barren and exposed. There is something beautiful to behold here. It's almost as if the snow clings together is desperation to fight against the sun's warmth, bound and huddling tight to not give way to the unavoidable fate and reveal it's hidden captive. It's a hushed stillness that commands attention. 

Then I see it. It is a picture of my heart. Of your heart. Of all hearts. We are the dead brown earth. Some places we let people see with no regard, exposed and naked. Those are the secure parts of our life, confident in what we have become. But the other places, those places that never see the sun, that never feel it's warmth, that hold on to the snow like a cover to provide some sort of sense of dignity; those are the places of our hearts where our fears reside. Where our shame is hidden, where our wounds are wrapped up tight and most inner secrets kept. The places we want concealed from the world around us.

And it occurred to me, that's exactly what Jesus does! I love the analogy of how he washes my sins white as snow, but this day He showed me he not only washes me, he covers me. He covers my heart at it's coldest spot.  He clothes me thickest around my shame. He clings and binds himself to my deepest wounds. He wraps me up where I'm most afraid of the sun's exposure.  He heaps and piles himself where I need it most for the purpose of protection, but also so that what others see is only his beauty. 

Scripture gives beautiful accounts of how he covers us beginning in the garden with animals skin and through the desert with the Israelites by his cloud. But the most touching reference I found was in Ezekiel chapter 16. He is speaking to the nation of Israel as a whole, but individually this verse seems fitting in the barren, dead of winter. Verse 8 says this:

When I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine.

He covers us! With a blood covenant that cost him everything. And now we are his. Protected and hidden in his care. With our weaknesses safely exposed to him alone. Loved by a saviour that knows where we need him most. Covered by grace that runs deeper than any shadow.

Lord Jesus, how precious is your blood that not only washes me clean but covers me tenderly. What a beautiful saviour you are!

The Camry Experience

Years ago I heard a pastor share an illustration that has come to mind again and again recently.  He told a story of a time in his life where he needed a new vehicle. As he and his wife went to the car dealership they test drove several cars and came to settle on a Toyota Camry. The both very much liked the car and bought it. On the way home they noticed how many other Camrys there were on the road. In fact, several neighbors had one and they never realized it.  When they got home and showed the car to their teenage son, he was excited. He was familiar with the car and told his parents of several friends who also owned a Camry. It seemed as if Camrys were all around this family, but because they had not been in the market for a car, they didn't see them. 

And here is the parallel he made from this story. When we have an encounter with God our senses become awakened to him. When he speaks to us and we hear him it creates a fresh experience. It may be through scripture or a sermon. Through a friend or a devotion or a song.  But somewhere God gets our attention and we connect on a point. Our spirit becomes alive and we digest his life-giving word. It is a moment where we know this is God. Then as time passes, it's as though we see that truth everywhere again and again and our soul is thrilled and refreshed at each recognition. And we discover once more his omnipresence is real.  

The first way I can relate that comes to mind is the time when I was getting married. I remember as soon as I said yes it seemed as if everyone around me was also getting married. It felt like every billboard, commercial, TV show and magazine article was about weddings and engagements. Dresses, rings, cakes and flowers were everywhere I looked.  It was definitely because my senses were heightened to the experience in my own life.  

Here in more recent months this has been happening a lot with words like "all" and "seed" and "open". And I love it!  There is something so great about a fresh encounter with God. It is exciting like a new car or getting married. And when he confirms it by opening my eyes to see the same thing here or there, I just love that! What a comfort to realize he is all around me working and moving, involved and present.  He is creating an appetite in me for him. 

What about you? What was the last encounter you had with God? What is he showing you repeatedly? Or, are you in the market for a fresh experience? Has God ever surprised you with a promise that was precious like a diamond? Do share!

Matthew 20:32-33 - And stopping, Jesus called them and said, “What do you want me to do for you?” They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” 

Be encouraged today, his name is Emmanuel - God with us!

Loves Little or Loves Much?

Bible study this week took me to Luke chapter 7 verses 36-50. This is the portion of scripture where Simon invites Jesus over for dinner and the woman with the alabaster jar comes and publicly anoints Jesus' feet with her hair, tears and kisses. While Jesus is receiving this act of worship he makes a teaching moment with Simon. I've never really liked this passage because I identify more with Simon than the woman in the scene and that makes me very uncomfortable with myself.

Scripture doesn't tell us Simon's motives for having Jesus over for supper, but we do know that he was a Pharisee and that carries much definition on its own.  And given the ritualistic and perfect performance the Pharisees kept, it is interesting to note all the things Simon didn't do when Jesus got there.

As they were eating, the woman comes in and makes quite a public display of affection. Oddly enough the love that motivated this act is not what upsets Simon, but rather the reputation and character of the woman is what rattles him most. He is not upset over this display so much as that "a sinner" would touch Jesus.

 I love that we don't read Jesus' tone to be an angry one. It could be that Simon's thoughts were simply what he had been taught and had never ventured away from, something Jesus has grace for. We see Jesus teach in his usual pattern of a gentle parable and leading questions. A good coach always asks the right questions that will lead you to discover the answer yourself. Jesus leads Simon to a place where he could begin to look past a person's issues and see their heart. A heart that loves much and a heart that loves little. "Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven-for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little loves little," he says. Then he speaks to the woman and tells her "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace."  In the camera view of this in my mind, I see Simon sit back and take it all in and I wonder, did he get it?

 As one who knows all too well a Pharisee's heart, it completely unnerves me to think that I might be one who Jesus considers "loves little."

I wrestled this out with Jesus hard. Thank you Lord for my upbringing and your hand of protection and provision over and on my life. Thank you Jesus that my testimony is not one I will be embarrassed to tells my kids about someday. Thank you God for the blessing of a family who lead me to you early in life and a church body that kept me busy enough to not get in difficult trouble.  You put people in my life that steered me well and lead me rightly, it has shaped me into who I am today!

But does all that mean I love you little?

Have there been times I've entertained you and neglected to worship you? Have I gained your gracious attention forgetting to honor you with all I have? Have I been in your presence and considered myself....anything other than "a sinner?"


Yes.


Devastating.


A brokenness comes over me as I repent and confess my arrogance and unworthy heart. Why are you so patient with me Lord? So gentle when you coach me to see me for who I really am? So gracious as you open my eyes to see you for who you really are?

Through my tears his tender voice responds, "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you, go in peace." And in this moment he shows me I have moved from identifying with Simon the self righteous to this unnamed woman, the worshiping sinner.  No longer to love little, but to go in peace and to love much.

Father, in the upbringing you allowed, somehow I picked up wrong theories and warped theologies.  Sometimes it's so hard to look past a person's issues and look to their heart, my own included. Transform my eyes Lord to see how you see.  Your kindness changes everything. I don't ever want to gain your attention again without giving you my all. May all of my days be a continual act of worship that shows you how much I love you. Your love is better than life! 

This is what you have trained for.

Two weeks ago I had an opportunity to hear pastor Wayne Cordeiro speak on sifting from Luke 22. He told a story of being on a rowing team and entering a 40 mile race.

He said everyone had a great start. He was feeling strong and performing well. At mile 10, he was still feeling good as were all the competitors. By mile 20 there was starting to prove to be a gap in those that were really able to win the race and those that were not. At mile 30 he was exhausted, spent and ready to quit.  But he said he came to realize that this was the very moment he had been training for. All the workouts, all the time and energy put into being the strongest and best rower was for this exact minute. It was here he coached himself to not give up. "This is what you have trained for!" he told himself. And he reached down to find more strength, fight through the fatigue and finish the race.

The moral of the story was that the reason you ever do any training is for the time when we are squeezed. The things we have deposited in our lives will be what comes out in those intense times in life.

I ran a half marathon last weekend, and I thought of that line so many times. A half marathon is thirteen miles and my training had made about eight or nine miles not too crazy difficult. On race day mile ten was pushing me.  My feet were tired and I was feeling kinda queasy. "This is what you have trained for!"  Mile eleven came and my toes were really, really sore, and I had a rock in each shoe. "This is what you have trained for!" Mile twelve was a bitter sweet mark, almost done, but somehow it seemed like it was the longest mile ever. I was reaching for every ounce of energy possible. "This is what you have trained for!" At the last half of the mile were two friends screaming my name cheering me on. What an encouragement! "This is what you have trained for!" I few steps later, one more friend yelling and cheering for me! "This is what you have trained for!" And finally the finish line. What a moment! This is what I had trained for!

A sweet friend was there to greet me and celebrate. Yes, celebrate the accomplishment, but celebrating that I didn't give up. Giving up is always the easy way out. I have so many thoughts about it all. So many spiritual parallels. I see a sifting in areas of my life and I want all the junk brought out. All the pride, all the selfishness, all the obnoxiousness. All those things that I have deposited and deposited over and over again have been coming up as I have felt squeezed in a few ways. The whole purpose of a filtering sieve is to bring to the surface all the junk and get rid of it. And I want it all up. All up and out. Then, when it's done and over with, all I want left in me is Jesus.

A few verses come to mind:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 1 Corinthians 9:24 

I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the son of God who loves me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

That is what I want my life to show I have trained for. Less of me, more of him.

These are some of pastor Cordeiro's impactful thoughts:
     ~Sifting accelerates spiritual growth.
     ~The best veggies grow in sifted soil.
     ~Sifting enables us to teach out of our scars, not our theories.
     ~If you are not on the road to the right goal, then the road to success and failure are the same road.
     ~Everything God has invested in you is for the moment you are ready to quit. It's to get you through that dark night of the soul.

 Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:31


He is praying for us, what do you want to train for?

Kids

Do you ever have those times when you are reading scripture and you see something you've never seen before even thought it's been there all along? This has happened to me several times in the past few weeks.

The first was when I was studying Hannah's story in first Samuel for some writing I was doing. Chapter 3 reveals Samuel's calling in the opening verses by labeling him as a young man. Many translations read "boy." This account in scripture jumped off the page at me. The dialog that takes place is incredible. Samuel hears God, responds "here I am" and doesn't wait for a response but runs to his trusted leader. (There's a blog post in itself.) Eli tells him, "I didn't call you, go back to bed." The whole thing plays out again and when Eli realizes what's really going on, he says "Oh yeah. That's God. Tell him your listening. Then listen."

Instructions that seem to roll off the tongue as if conversing audibly with God in the middle of the night is as common as taking out the trash. The details given are few, yet the message is clear. God is speaking to this child. And the child is hearing God speak. Astounding.

Then at group later that week, we were discussing David's anointing to become king over the nation of Israel in 1 Samuel 16. We considered that this happened when David was possibly as young as 9 or 10 years old. A juvenile. A preteen potentially. Anointed to be king over God's chosen people. In this year with a presidential election on the horizon, this thought is almost indigestible.

In bible study the following morning, a quick reference to Hagar's story was made in Genesis 21. She and her son are in the wilderness about to die. Verse 16 records the desperate cries of a mother begging for mercy. But verse 17 says: And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What troubles you Hagar? Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is."

Woah. Again, such few details supplied except a mother's request and God's response to an unrecorded prayer from a kid.

Wow! How many times before have I passed over these verses as if it was seemingly insignificant? God hearing, moving and providing on behalf of a boy. Jehovah anointing, what we would consider a minor, to be king of his chosen people. The I AM speaking and giving prophecy to a child that would be difficult at best for it's recipients to hear. Nearly unimaginable.

I have been thinking and rethinking about the three instances of God interacting with kids and I'm instantly reminded of Jesus saying "Let the children come to me, don't stop them. For the kingdom of heaven belongs to them," and "whoever humbles themselves like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

While stewing and brewing over all these accounts, one thing is clear: Age is of no discrimination to Jesus.  That's very convicting to me as one who defines a main area of ministry life as my children. In what ways am I being diligent to show my children this quality of God? How am I leading my girls to pray and anticipate God to move and respond? Am I myself expecting God to hear and answer their prayers? Such real examples in scripture that have come alive and I can no longer act as if I haven't seen them.

God speaking to children. God hearing little one's prayers. God anointing a youth to profound leadership.

How tired God must get of the small box I keep trying to put him in? I'm so thankful for his patient grace that not only choose me and adults, but chooses children. My children and yours.

Lord Jesus, your ways are so much higher than mine. You use the things this world considers weak and lowly to display your glory so that no one can boast. Forgive me God for when I brush my kids away and am dismissive of their thoughts and actions of you.  Continually remind me of how much you treasure childlike faith. Transform my heart and the hearts of my girls into a place where your kingdom reigns. Hallelujah that you hear my children's prayers! Open their ears that they may hear from you. You Jesus, are my and my children's righteousness, holiness and redemption. All glory, from birth to death, is yours and yours alone. 

Tangled

I read an article once about the way that some people in third world countries train elephants. These people get the elephants when they are babies and chain one leg with a big heavy chain that keeps them "caged" and unable to escape. Then when the elephant's strength is needed, the chain is loosed and the elephant is made to perform whatever task is needed. When the elephant's services are complete, the chain is replaced. Over time however, as the elephant grows, the weight of the chain is reduced slowly till eventually only a thin string is needed to keep the elephant imprisoned. The elephant's memory of the pain from early in life provides all the bondage needed to keep the elephant trapped and at the whim of the people.

A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you that I woke up wrestling with an issue and felt God speak to my heart to press on. There were many verses in my bible study that morning that the Lord took me to. One of them was Hebrews 12:1-2 which says this:

Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of God.

The timing of reading this was so cool because that very week were the final days of training enabling me to run a 15K race.  I was so encouraged as I felt God was cheering me on for my race. But the more I thought about this verse the more I began wondering what weights I needed to lay aside and what sin was clinging so closely to me and not just in a physical sense.

In training for a race, endurance is the name of the game so carrying any extra unnecessary weight of any kind just doesn't cut it. But sin that clings so closely, that one seemed a little more tricky to identify. I decided to check out a few different translations on that phrase. The Message reads "no extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins." The NIV says "let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles." I like both of those. After reading them is when I was reminded of the story of the elephants in captivity.

I, and so many I know, are just like those elephants. We too were born into captivity, chained by the flesh.  Taught early on to keep all "the rules" and trained to perform and act rightly. Limited freedom came when we served as we were told and when we behaved in just the right way. But as soon as the expectation was met and the obligation was kept, the chain went right back on. And we were left alone and isolated. Wondering if our work would ever be good enough or ever completed so that real freedom could be experienced.

So what is this sin that clings so closely? This parasitic transgression? This error that so easily entangles?

It's when we are looking at anything but Jesus. It's when we are rehearsing our successes and faults. It's when we are obsessing over our guilt or lack of worth.  It's when all we can do is worry. It's when the only thing we see is our lack or someone else's gain. It's when every bit of our energy and effort is going for that next new toy. It's when we think consciencely or sub consciencely that that next bite, new outfit or one more workout will finally settle us. It's what ever way we are trying to cover that nagging pain.

This sin that clings so closely, this parasitic, entangling sin is the sin of taking our eyes off Jesus. The writer of Hebrews gave us the "how to" lay down this stuff in the directions. He says: "let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ( HOW?) looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of God."

You and I can never be good enough. There will always be something someone can make us feel guilty or unworthy over. In the physical realm, there is forever something more to want of every fashion imaginable. Just like that grown elephant who is really only bound by a memory, the deceiver is always throwing something our way that says "Hey look over here! You don't have this! You can't have that! You'll never get this!" All things that probably early in life might have even been healthy guidelines, but somewhere, somehow became bondage. Painful chains that kept us tied up and wrapped up and bound up and able to see nothing but the memory of slavery.

But here is the good news; Jesus was good enough! And he will NEVER use guilt as a means of communication. And all the work that needed to be done to make God happy is complete, that's why he's sitting at the right hand of God. And because of the shame he despised and endured, I don't ever have to wonder any more. Wonder if he's pleased with me because I acted right or mad at me because I messed up. I never have to worry if tomorrow is gonna work out. I don't need to ever again feel like I'm missing out on something, somehow, someway.

How can this be? How do we get to that place? Where does this happen?

By looking to Jesus. The founder. The perfecter. He is the one who began a good work in us. He is the one who is going to complete it too. To look to Jesus is the very definition of faith. Where he leads is out of captivity like a mighty elephant walking out of a thin string tied to his ankle and into real freedom. Looking at him instead of our chains. Looking at him instead of our pain. Looking at him, the perfecter of faith.

You see, every race is won the same way; with eyes forward, one step at a time.

So what do you think? Ready to lay aside some baggage with me, even if it's only memories?  Ready to focus in on Jesus? He's so beautifully, transformingly perfect. He's already freed our feet and he's enabling us to follow him. Straight to the victory line.

Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of God.

An invitation

Every year at the ministry kick off in September, Trinity hosts a 24/7 church wide prayer time where members take an hour at a time to come and pray for the new year.  Last year when we did this, to be completely transparent, I was less than excited. In fact, the whole deal sounded really, ...well, ... like it wouldn't be my new favorite thing. I was greatly mistaken. What a gift to quietly press in alone with God. Fastest hour ever. This year I eagerly signed up for a slot.

We have a prayer room here that has been beautifully and carefully thought out. There are 8-10 stations that give directions and instructions for how and what to pray if you should choose to use them. The first is a praise stop. My favorite. My heart lingers here a while.

The second is a confession station that is set up with paper and a leading prayer to write out any thing the Holy Spirit may be speaking to your heart. There is also a 'Paid In Full' red stamp and a paper shredder to the right to lead you in the truth of God's word that promises forgiveness with confession.  The instructions at this table are topped with the following verse:

"Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall become white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool." Isaiah 1:18

My eyes read this verse so fresh and new. Did the Maker of heaven and earth really just invite me to come and reason with Him?

Maybe reason doesn't mean what I think it means.

Dictionary.com says when used as a verb reason means:
     ~to think or argue in a logical manor;
     ~to form conclusions, judgments or facts
     ~to urge reasons which should determine a belief or action.

Nope, it does mean what I think it means. How could the God of the universe, the omniscient, the omnipresent, the all powerful I AM ask me to reason with him? What does that look like? How does that happen? What does that mean?

Who am I that I could argue with God, or lead him to a conclusion that he himself has not thought of. Do I really think that I could change God's mind? That he would relent the things he has defined as sin and somehow I'd be "off the hook"?

No. Quite the contrary. As I sat and pondered these thoughts, it occurred to me it is exactly the opposite. It's not his mind that needs to be changed, it's mine. God is very secure in who he is. Don't be mistaken, He is fully confident and competent in being God. He will not change his mind on what he has deemed holy and what he has not. But it is that very fact of him being settled in himself, and with himself, that enables him to not be threatened, rattled or have to be defensive with me.

In other words, my sin, my messes, my stuff doesn't change the fact that he is who he says he is. And it is because of the fact that he doesn't change his mind about my sinful nature that gives him authority to invite me in to look at things from his perspective. He knows what a holy life looks like. And he knows that on my own, I'll never attain it. And the scriptures teach that it's his kindness that allows me his captive audience.

He knows the damage that sin does to us. He understands the pain and brokenness that come from it. He is acutely aware of the suffering and choking isolation that sin brings upon a life. It is this very understanding that moves his heart to extend an invitation to me that says 'Come, wrestle this out with me. I'm a safe place. I will not humiliate and exploit you over this. No, I will teach you and show you why this is not for you. Let me give you an understanding of what it is I have for you. Cleanliness. Righteousness. Holiness."

I was reminded of a few other places in scripture of God inviting us to come to him.

But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:9 

Come to me all who labor and are weary and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of need. Hebrew 4:16

This is such a different picture than the warped and distorted view of God I have sometimes. What a gentle invitation. "Come, talk with me. Come walk with me. Come, let me help you."

It is certainly not at the exemption of consequences or discipline, but oh how the heart remembers a lesson when guilt is recognized and acknowledged and then grace is given and received.

This is what it is to be known and to be loved.
This is an experience of love that casts out fear of punishment.
This is what it is to be refreshed.
This is the invitation, "Come."

Summer Fun

Is summer over already? Boy it was sure hot today, but the kids are in school so that means it's supposed to be fall right? I'm ready!

Here is a picture recap of a few of our fun adventures this summer.

                                       Fun in Abuello's BIG back yard near the mountains.

Some neighborhood horses near Abuellos' house.

Cousin fun.

Group hug goodbye for Abuello.

Cousin fun at the Lincoln Museum.

The girls and I went to Indiana beach and had a blast. This was atop the BIG ferris wheel.

A personal favorite ride, the swings!

Stinky Pete's fav, the carousel.

This was in the van on the way to Niagara Falls. Where is Stinky Pete?

There she is!! This kid loves tents!

Our hotel had the BIGGEST bathroom!

The Falls. So beautiful. Pictures do not do justice.

The Maid and Mister of the Mist.

On the way home we found the house where they filmed the movie The Christmas Story.

Playing around in the gift shop.

We also toured the USS Cod Submarine.  This was so fun! It was a self guided tour on a kept in tact actual submarine, We could touch all the controls, open all the drawers and and lay in the bunks. The girls couldn't believe how close the beds were.   

Checking out out the machine gun on top.

I think Daddy may have liked this part best!

The girls scored free tickets to 6 Flags for reading this year. We managed to pick up a few extra tickets and brought some friends. What a fun day! This was the first coaster of the day and everybody rode! (Some of us in the family are NOT coaster riders and refer to themselves as "the purse holder.")

Sweet friends.

Here we go!!

My favorite ridding buddy.

And this was the highlight of my day! I have been wanting to ride this ride for YEARS! It's called Superman, and appropriately so. After you are belted/locked in, the seats turn so you feel like you are flying through the air. I was the only one who was tall enough that wanted to go, so go I DID! Here is a short video of how they load you on the thing. It is the baddest ride I've ever been on! Can't wait to have a chance to go again, so very fun!

What a great summer this has been! But school has started now and we are finding our new rhythm. The girls are enjoying it. Mostly. Haha Still adjusting to the school day starting at 8:30 instead of 10ish. :) They both like their teachers and are making new friends. I'm excited to see what God has in store for the school year. I think it's gonna be good. 

How about you? Is your summer over yet?  What has been your favorite part? 

Free

I read the following over here. So good!!

             Jesus plus nothing equals everything!

Because Jesus was strong for you, you’re free to be weak;

Because Jesus won for you, you’re free to lose;

Because Jesus was Someone, you’re free to be no one;

Because Jesus was extraordinary, you’re free to be ordinary;

Because Jesus succeeded for you, you’re free to fail.

Somedays it says this...

I was encouraging a friend this morning with some scripture and I read Romans 8:37-39 which says this:

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And while I in no way mean to belittle Paul or his amazing understanding of God's love, somedays I'm not wresting with heights and depths and angels and rulers. And while I get the spiritual trues to all that, somedays I just need to read something a tad more, well, .... literal. 

So here was my interpretation on these verses this morning. 

I am sure that neither loads of dirty laundry or piles of unwashed dishes, nor filthy floors or gardens full of weeds, nor messy bathrooms, sleepless nights or stress, nor an exhausted body or needy children, nor emotional depletion from being overworked and under appreciated, no bad hair day or make-up that runs, no clothes that don't fit or shoes out of style, nor guilt, nor self or other imposed condemnation, no distraction, no interruption, no frustration will keep me from remembering the extravagant and tender, precious and personal, unending and costly love that God has for me in Christ Jesus my Lord. 

Somedays I just need the gospel preached right where I am. 

Be encouraged and reminded right now that you are dearly loved and nothing thrown at you today can separate you from Him and His sentimental affections for you.

Sweet Jesus who knows our names and how many hairs are on our heads, may we rest in you today and remember your great love for us above all else. May your name be praised!

Rescued

We are about to wrap up a series here in Trinity Church entitled Rescue - God's Story of Life from Death.  It has been a great time of remembering the gospel.

In our small group this week, we were discussing and defining the word rescue. Since this was our first gathering, to help us to get to know each other, our group leader asked us all to share our own rescue stories. It was such an encouraging time to hear how God has and is working in the lives of my friends.  One person shared that there has been more rescue and growth in the last year than ever before. I love that!

On the way home from group I was contemplating rescue accounts and I remembered the following story.

Several years ago Mike and I had hit a really rough place in life and the Lord worked it out for us to live for about a year with some of the most gracious and generous friends I think I'll ever have, Amy and Shawn. During this year there, Amy's parents lived and traveled in an RV and from time to time would come and stay in Amy's back yard as the opportunity afforded. Amy had two small children and her parents, Nanny and Poppy, just took our Lucy in as one of their own granddaughters. What a blessing!

One particular evening we were all hanging out in the living room. Being the young moms Amy and I were, our conversation led to parenting.  Nanny told us a story that I don't think I'll ever forget. She and a large group of extended family were at some sort of fair or amusement park. They all decided to ride on a big ferris wheel that had large gondola bucket seats. For what ever reason, in the impulse of the moment, all the adults decided to ride in one gondola and allowed all the kids to ride on a separate gondola. Alone. With out any adults.

I began holding my breath as I listened.

As the ride took off, everyone was enjoying themselves and having a big time looking over the horizon and loving the wind in their faces. About half way around the ride stopped to exchange riders. When it did, Nanny looked over to the gondola with all the kids. Before her eyes was a scene that would terrify anyone, let alone a mother.  There, across the sky was her child standing up on the seat and peering over the side of the bucket. Panic struck her heart and every horrible thought possible came plunging through her mind. I could hardly wait for her to finish talking!

She frantically screamed at her child to sit back down in her seat but it was to no avail. The distance was too great and the kids were completely self engulfed. It was in this moment, she said, she realized the total impossibility of the situation because there was absolutely nothing that she could do. She could not reach her with her hands. She could not reach her with her voice. She had no power over the giant machine. She was out of control in every way possible and completely at the mercy of God.

She said she took a breath and prayed. She surrendered herself and precious child to God alone and experienced the most tender grace and God's incomparable rescue. She needed mercy for her daughter's safety and she needed rescue from her own insanity. She had to release this child that she loved immeasurably into the hands of Jesus. She told us that He reminded her that He loved that child even more than she and that they both were in His hands.

To close the story, her daughter (I think it was Amy's older sister) sat down and the ride concluded without a mortal tragedy; at least in her daughter's body! Haha. But Nanny continued to share with Amy and I the lesson Jesus used in that moment to teach her about her own lack of real control and what it really means to trust Jesus and live in his rescue.

What a parallel to life that event was. Just like Nanny, we are without control in every way to enter what the Bible describes as real life, abundant life. I can't act right enough. I can't speak or think right enough, I have no real power over more things than I care to admit. And the thing I love most, my own flesh and blood, and I mean me, is often oblivious. Standing at the edge of danger, peering unaware.

But it's in those moments like Nanny experienced, when life grabs you by the throat and your realize that control is a myth; these are the moments that Jesus is ever present. These are the moments where he surrounds us with his grace and peace like the wind wrapped around Nanny's face high in the air. These are the teaching moments where he shows us that the life he offers, real life, is meant to be lived out with the faith like a child. Ever trusting that He knows best, trusting that He is in control.

When we release ourselves to him fully and trust Him with everything we hold dear, what we find is that He is the safe place. We find a Father who loves us more than we love ourselves and is taking us on the ride of our lives to show us horizons we never dreamed existed.  We find He is trustworthy. And faithful. We find a relief from the thing that plagues us most, ourselves. We find that surrender to Him really is the only way to move from death to life.

We find we've been rescued.

He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me. - Psalm 18:19

Known and Loved

I watched a chick flick this weekend and at the "You complete me" guy-wooing-the-girl-part, I was reminded of this video we saw at Trinity a few weeks ago while studying John chapter 4.  I'm so thankful for the real love story of a Saviour who knows me and loves me.



Heres a link to the video.

He is!

I found these lyrics to a song over here at my fellow blogger's page The Architect and The Artist. I don't know the melody of the song, but this is cool!

In Genesis, He's the breath of life
In Exodus, the Passover Lamb
In Leviticus, He's our High Priest
Numbers, The fire by night
Deuteronomy, He's Moses' voice
In Joshua, He is salvation's choice
Judges, law giver
In Ruth, the kinsmen-redeemer
First and second Samuel, our trusted prophet
In Kings and Chronicles, He's sovereign
Ezra, true and faithful scribe
Nehemiah, He's the rebuilder of broken walls and lives
In Esther, He's Mordecai's courage
In Job, the timeless redeemer
In Psalms, He is our morning song
In Proverbs, wisdom's cry
Ecclesiastes, the time and season
In the Song of Solomon, He is the lover's dream

He is, He is, HE IS!

In Isaiah, He's Prince of Peace
Jeremiah, the weeping prophet
In Lamentations, the cry for Israel
Ezekiel, He's the call from sin
In Daniel, the stranger in the fire
In Hosea, He is forever faithful
In Joel, He's the Spirits power
In Amos, the arms that carry us
In Obadiah, He's the Lord our Savior
In Jonah, He's the great missionary
In Micah, the promise of peace
In Nahum, He is our strength and our shield
In Habakkuk and Zephaniah, He's pleading for revival
In Haggai, He restores a lost heritage
In Zechariah, our fountain
In Malachi, He is the son of righteousness rising with healing in His wings

He is, He is, HE IS!

In Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, He is God, Man, Messiah
In the book of Acts, He is fire from heaven
In Romans, He's the grace of God
In Corinthians, the power of love
In Galatians, He is freedom from the curse of sin
Ephesians, our glorious treasure
Philippians, the servants heart
In Colossians, He's the Godhead Trinity
Thessalonians, our coming King
In Timothy, Titus, Philemon He's our mediator and our faithful Pastor
In Hebrews, the everlasting covenant
In James, the one who heals the sick.
In First and Second Peter, he is our Shepherd
In John and in Jude, He is the lover coming for His bride
In the Revelation, He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords

He is, He is, HE IS! 

If we only knew...

I read the following thoughts over here the other day....

Here is my prayer for us this weekend, May we catch even the slightest glimpse of the tender mercy of our Jesus.  For one drop of His mercy realized is better than an ocean of the world’s comfort. 

The marriage situation that seems impossible. 

The finances that never balance. 

The hope so deferred it makes the heart sick. 

The anxiety over a child bent on a wayward path. 

The diet you are sick of. 

The broken promises of a friend. 

The lack of true friends. 

The constant messiness always distracting the peace you want in your home. 

The impatience and frustration and anger and disappointment in losing it once again. 

If only we knew how deeply Jesus understands, cares, and feels for us.  If only we could see the wonder of His love.  The skies He paints, the flowers He blooms, the world He arranges just for us. 

If only we knew to open our hands and catch the drops of His tender mercy.  If only we knew how to stop clinching our fists feeling the weight of trying to fix it all ourselves.
If only we knew to stop in the midst of it all and whisper, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”
Just a whispered breath formed in the wholeness of His name carries all the power and mercy and wisdom and grace we need to handle what we face. 

If only we knew. 

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need,” (Hebrews 4: 15-16). 

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.

The Cul-de-sac of Pride

Last week a sweet friend took me to lunch for my birthday.  As we sat and chatted, she began sharing what she felt like the Lord had been showing her. He had been speaking to her about pride. I could identify so clearly. I told her, that I felt like I had been on this very road with God for some time now, just not maybe this EXACT curve. She began to laugh and said; "We are stuck in the cul-de-sac of pride!" So funny, yet so true for me! (The first thing that came to my mind was this clip from the movie European Vacation. LOOK KIDS! Big Ben!)


I feel like the Lord has really been calling me out on my every action revealing my motives. Every word, thought, effort and reaction. Dang! Will we ever get to the bottom of this? The following fictional story was a kick in the pants to me: 

One day Jesus said to his disciples: “I’d like you to carry a stone for me.” He didn’t give any explanation. So the disciples looked around for a stone to carry, and Peter, being the practical sort, sought out the smallest stone he could possibly find. After all, Jesus didn’t give any regulation for weight and size! So he put it in his pocket.  Jesus then said: “Follow Me.” He led them on a journey. About noontime Jesus had everyone sit down. He waved his hands and all the stones turned to bread. He said, “Now it’s time for lunch.” In a few seconds, Peter’s lunch was over.  When lunch was done Jesus told them to stand up. He said again, “I’d like you to carry a stone for me.” This time Peter said, “Aha! Now I get it!” So he looked around and saw a small boulder. He hoisted it on his back and it was painful, it made him stagger. But he said, “I can’t wait for supper.” Jesus then said: “Follow Me.” He led them on a journey, with Peter barely being able to keep up. Around supper time Jesus led them to the side of a river. He said, “Now everyone throw your stones into the water.” They did. Then he said, “Follow Me,” and began to walk. Peter and the others looked at him dumbfounded.  Jesus sighed and said, “Don’t you remember what I asked you to do?  Who were you carrying the stone for?”

The original post where I read that story was about suffering and joy, but God spoke to me so clearly through it about my motives and revealed more of my prideful heart. I read this quote on twitter by Susie Larson that impacted me and feel like is an antidote of sorts to pride: 

Kingdom humility is about really knowing who you are without feeling the need to let others know. 

Really knowing who I am. That's where there is freedom. I am His child! And my response out of amazing gratitude, is recognizing who HE really is and then lovingly obey. Will He not continue to freely give me all things? 


Thank you Lord for your great love for me. You patience is extravagant! How faithful you are even in my arrogance and selfish efforts. It is your kindness Lord, that leads me to repentance. Thank you for grace and it's perfect work. Give me eyes to see you for who you are: faithful and true, loving and long suffering. You are an amazing God! 

Remember the Duck

I have mentioned before that I recently started following Pastor Tullian on twitter. He posted the following post on his blog earlier this week that I thought was so great.

This story told by my friend and former professor, Steve Brown, illustrates well the radical discrepancy between the ways in which we hold other people hostage in their sin and the unconditional forgiveness that God offers to us in Christ.

Do you remember the story about the little boy who killed his grandmother’s pet duck? He accidentally hit the duck with a rock from his slingshot. The boy didn’t think anybody saw the foul deed, so he buried the duck in the backyard and didn’t tell a soul.

Later, the boy found out that his sister had seen it all. Not only that, she now had the leverage of his secret and used it. Whenever it was the sister’s turn to wash the dishes, take out the garbage or wash the car, she would whisper in his ear, “Remember the duck.” And then the little boy would do what his sister should have done.

There is always a limit to that sort of thing. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore–he’d had it! The boy went to his grandmother and, with great fear, confessed what he had done. To his surprise, she hugged him and thanked him. She said, “I was standing at the kitchen sink and saw the whole thing. I forgave you then. I was just wondering when you were going to get tired of your sister’s blackmail and come to me.”

If he already saw and forgave you, don’t let anybody say to you, “Remember the duck.”

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:19, “God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them.” The good news of the gospel is that, for all of us who trust in the finished work of Jesus, God does not count our sins against us–he counts our sins against Christ!

Our own failure to grasp the gospel shows itself when we demand penance from those who have wronged us. Whatever offense I’ve received is infinitely smaller than the offense God has received from me. And since God has freely, fully, and unconditionally forgiven us in Christ (counting our sins against him) we should be quick and desirous to freely, fully, and unconditionally forgive.

There’s simply no better way to get people to contemplate God’s unfathomable love and grace than by granting them what he’s already granted.

Candid Conversations with God

My fellow blogger and homeschooler over at Confessions of a Homeschooler posted the following thoughts last week and I thought it was so great! This applies to so much more than homeschooling.

Be encouraged as you read, He knows where you are and exactly what you need.

I wanted to share the conversation I had with God before we started homeschooling. It came to me a few times so maybe it’s the Lord’s way of asking me to share, so here we go…

Dear Jesus,

I wanted to discuss this whole homeschooling thing you have called us to. I have a few concerns and would just like to hear from you, you know some kind of confirmation that we should homeschool, that we’re on the right track, because I’m freaking out just a bit. So here’s where I’m at with this whole thing…

1. I’m scared.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsakeyou. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut 31;8)

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matt 28:20)

2. I’m worried about what other people will think or say.

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. (Prov 29:25)

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Prov 9:10)

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. (Colossians 3:2)

3. I doubt my own ability to teach my kids effectively.

…for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. (Philippians 2:13)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

4. I don’t think we can afford it.

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

5. How can I take care of my home, family, and daily responsibilities and homeschool?

If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:11)

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. (Colossians 3:17)

6. I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t even know where to start!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God (Philippians 4:6)

6. What about my free time?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3)

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

7. What if my kids turn out weird and un-socialized?

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2)

8. What if I lose friends or family because they disapprove?

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. Philippians 3:1-8

9. What about my attitude and, um shall we say lack of patience?

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation”. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. (Philippians 2:14-18)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12)

…for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:20)

10. Um, so are you saying I’m going to be tested? Because we all know how that turns out…

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2-3)

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 1:3-5)

10. What if I can’t hack it? I mean it’s always easier said then done!

…And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12: 1-3)

11. How am I to teach, I don’t even have a teaching degree?

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deut 6-9)

12. Okay, I’m out of excuses, any final advice?

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

and thus began our journey…