Thursday, April 23, 2009

A chain is gone

2008 proved to be the hardest year of my life thus far.  Among many incidents, one that left me deeply wounded was something that resulted in the loss of two friendships for me and three for my daughter.  I can not begin to describe to you the pain that I carried with me the entire year over that mess. I so desperately hoped that at the stroke of midnight on December 31 somehow, 2009 would be new and better. However, on January 1st, life was no different.  I was still on the run in heavy chains of pain and paralyzing fear.

In the middle February, at the insightful advise of a godly friend, I got real honest with God. Honest about my pain. Honest about my anger.  Honest about my raging insecurity.  And miraculously He immediately began healing my heart. The release of finally being truthful with God was indescribable. 

Within the week, some closure came, and over the past several weeks He has carefully and lovingly bound up my heart that was so badly hemorrhaging from an awful attempt at a patch job.  I don't know if there will always be a scar, but I do know, that now, there is no longer an open wound or even a scab. 

This morning as I pondered some scriptures on anxiety and fully released myself to Him, for the first time in so many, many months, I felt free.  

I was free to love today.  

And there is no gift like freedom. 

Jesus proved these thoughts in me today:
Cast the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.  1 Peter 5:7  (Amplified Bible)

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (New Living Translation)

The trade is well worth the risk.

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