Enough

I was studying Solomon last week for some writing that I do and an element of his life really peaked my interest.


The book of first Kings opens with the curtain coming to a close on King David's life and his son, Solomon, being appointed as the successor to the throne. Chapter 3 begins and tells us that Solomon loved the Lord. That he walked in his father's footsteps but then we are given a description that will ultimately define Solomon's legacy, "he also made sacrifices and offerings to other gods." He had a dream and the Lord said to him: "Ask for whatever you want, and it will be yours." Solomon's response was humble and admirable to say the least.  He acknowledged God's provision and protection to his father and asked only for wisdom on how to be a good king to his people. This pleased the Lord greatly. He honored the request and along with it gave wealth and fame beyond what any other had ever known.


Just a few short chapters later is where the plot thickens. In the opening of chapter 11 we find Solomon with quite a menagerie. 700 wives, princesses and 300 concubines. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure of the difference between a wife and a concubine, but however you shake the thing down, the only word available to describe the situation is excess!


The scripture says he clung to them (the wives) in love. (1 Kings 11:2) He loved them so much that eventually they turned his heart away from the undivided devotion to the one true God, the very foundation of his childhood training and experience as a Jew. What in the world would make a man cling to a lifestyle of this level of excess? How do you get to a place where your heart is attached to this kind of extravagant living? And was 1000 enough? I would guess not.


I began to think about David's childhood and what that must have been like as a shepherd. Scripture records that he had an experiential and intimate relationship with God. (1 Samuel 17:33-37) And then I began to think about what Solomon's childhood must have been like growing up as royalty.  Blessed and without want I would assume. I am in no way trying to paint a picture about money or lifestyle, but I am trying to suggest that David felt satisfied in God. And I think Solomon was still looking for something. With everything at his disposal and whim, what was he still missing?


In his blessed and bountiful upbringing, and wisdom and wealth filled reign, over time he forgot the connection that all he had the Lord had provided. Instead he bound his heart to what could not satisfy.


One moral of the story is that wrecked lives happen slowly. No one wakes up and says: Today, I will ruin my life and destroy all I have.  I don't believe one acquires 1000 women and comes to love them with a love that would deny all upbringing overnight. This dulling of the senses and out of control appetite I imagine snuck in slowly.  That's often the way the enemy lures us away. One glance at a time until our hearts our given fully to something other than Jesus.


It made me consider what sorts of excess is in my life. I don't really want to tell you about my craft room. The fact alone that I have a whole room in the house for crafts, sewing and the like suggests I might possibly, maybe just a little bit, be dealing with a smidge of .... lets call it blessing! Grin. Oh conviction. Lets move on. haha And I surely don't want to confess how many countless hours am I spending on FB and Twitter and Pintrest gathering thoughts and quotes, recipes and ideas. All with good intentions, mind you. I want to connect with people, have great nuggets of wisdom, and make something fun and creative for my family and friends. Side note here, Pintrest may or may not be contributing to my "craft room."Anybody else on Pintrest feel a little bit like a virtual Hoarder?  Is that going to be the next TLC show?  HA! I digress. The fact is, after a quick peak at my own life,  I'm sure not ready to fight for some grounds for accusation at the lifestyle of what was the wisest man on earth.  


But really, what's going on here? What is it that makes us constantly want more? Why does it seem at times we are never satisfied in a space where clearly, abundance flows? 


Solomon had no comparison. There was none wiser, none richer, none more famous. If I crafted and sewed every day from now till next Christmas, I wouldn't be able to use all I had, or run out of ideas or connections for more ideas. The excess is profound. 


But I don't believe that excess is the problem. We serve a God who is able to do exceeding above all we can think or imagine. And he tells us that when we give it will be given back to us; pressed down, shaken together and running over. I think the issue at hand is our appetite. I believe God made us to crave and that there is no fault in desire. The key is however, what is it that we are going to try to fill ourselves with? I think Solomon was keenly aware of the empty hole. His own words in Proverbs say 'above all else a man desires unfailing love.' What I think that David understood more than Solomon was that God alone is the only one who is unfailing. Here are some of David's thoughts in the Psalms: 

Your steadfast love is better than life. 

My soul will be satisfied (in you) as with fat and rich food.  

My soul clings to you. 

The old saying 'you can't fit a square peg in a round hole' is true. God made us to crave, but the only thing that deeply satisfies is Him. Things of coarse will always fail us somehow even if only in getting old. And one does not have to live much life at all to realize that people, even 1000, will fail us also.  It is against this backdrop of unfulfilled excess that there is a new sweetness to Jesus' words: 

                                   "My grace is enough for you."

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

If you only knew

Well it's the last day of January, so I'm not technically too late for the whole New Years post am I? My new years resolution was to stop procrastinating, but well .... Just kidding, I'd never make that resolution. Grin.

But the New Year did come and go and in the bustle of it all I didn't make time to do the whole reflect-on-the-past-and-dream-for the-future-thing till a few weeks ago.

As I was reminiscing the past year on my blog, I noticed while there were some tough things in 2011, there were lots of good things too. My word for the year last year was obedience. What I wanted from God was not a master/slave type of obedience. But a closer walk with Him. A keep in step with the Spirit, personal relationship type of obedience. Obedience that is a response from love, not from command. There has definitely been progress there.

I kept reading even past 2011 into 2010 and was reminded of some truth I felt God speak to me in a new way. I had blogged about a passage in Matthew and condemning the innocent. I was dealing with my own insecurity and the fact that I needed to stop rehearsing abusive thoughts towards myself.

Well God just so worked it out that the day before I read that old post, I was writing and studding this same passage for a different connection.

The scripture is Matthew 12:1-8 and the setting is Sunday, the Sabbath. The disciples are hungry and as they are walking through the wheat fields, they help themselves to some dinner. The Pharisees observe this and start a'fussin. They rebuke Jesus for the unlawful act of working on the day of rest.  Jesus accurately uses scripture to correct them and help adjust their flawed thinking. What he says to them grabbed me as if Jesus turned from the Pharisees and began speaking directly to me;

"And if you had known what this means, 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the guiltless. For the Son of Man is the lord of the Sabbath." 

The words 'I desire mercy' rang in my head.

One of the things that made 2011 tough in some ways was a period of transition. Life always brings change. And change brings to the surface stuff that you may or may not have recognized, or more importantly, may or may not have wanted to deal with.  And upon remembering, (oh the pain of transparency) the Lord has revealed a critical spirit in me.

Ministry is tough. Because when ministry is as it should be, it's not about programs or events or Sunday mornings. Ministry is about people. And people, beginning with me, are messy. And just like a Pharisee whose vision gets too tightly zoomed in on 'this is how we do it', I forget that God is sovereign and not really interested in everyone keeping my rules that falsely make my little corner of the world feel secure.

How intriguing that my "goal" for myself last year was to obtain a more loving relationship with my Creator by keeping in step with him. The very thing I want for myself is the very thing he wants for everyone.

He desires I give mercy to the people around me that aren't keeping my "rules." He wants to walk with them too, and give them the freedom to eat when they are hungry. The truth is, when I find more comfort in obedience to my self imposed "rules" than in recognizing Jesus, I'm living as if he is not the Sovereign God that he is.

He is the Lord of the Sabbath, and of every other day of the week. And he is working and moving in other peoples lives at different times and ways than how he works and moves in mine. And to be critical of what Jesus himself is allowing displays a dangerous lie.

He is God. And he is Sovereign.

And his loving compassionate heart desires mercy.

The delicate intimacy that an ever reigning God has indivisibly linked to compassionate kindness is the beauty of the gospel.  It is exactly what he means when he defines himself as love. He didn't come here to condemn me. And he didn't come here to condemn anyone else. He came to bring mercy. And satisfaction not from food. And comfort not from rules. And fulfillment not from good behavior. Treasures I am learning as I walk with him.

The mercy that he brings allows for relationship. Relationship most importantly with him, but also with each other. Mercy that is ready to feed the hungry. Mercy that is inconvenient and selfless. Mercy that is judgement free. Mercy that gives life to this hungry, selfish, unreasonable heart.

So now I know.  He desires mercy.

Freely you have received, freely give. Matthew 10:8

Precious Jesus, how freely you have given grace and mercy to me. How selfishly I have held onto it until it has become a moldy critical mess inside. This is why your mercies are new every morning! Help me to remember who you are and to give like you give.  Thank you that you are in control. Thank you for your patience as I slowly realize more and more just how in control I am not. Your grace is enough Jesus. Enough for me and all those around me. Forgive me and remove this prideful critical spirit. Make my heart a catalyst of your mercy Lord, and hold me accountable for what I now know. Your love is so beautiful! 

Kids

Do you ever have those times when you are reading scripture and you see something you've never seen before even thought it's been there all along? This has happened to me several times in the past few weeks.

The first was when I was studying Hannah's story in first Samuel for some writing I was doing. Chapter 3 reveals Samuel's calling in the opening verses by labeling him as a young man. Many translations read "boy." This account in scripture jumped off the page at me. The dialog that takes place is incredible. Samuel hears God, responds "here I am" and doesn't wait for a response but runs to his trusted leader. (There's a blog post in itself.) Eli tells him, "I didn't call you, go back to bed." The whole thing plays out again and when Eli realizes what's really going on, he says "Oh yeah. That's God. Tell him your listening. Then listen."

Instructions that seem to roll off the tongue as if conversing audibly with God in the middle of the night is as common as taking out the trash. The details given are few, yet the message is clear. God is speaking to this child. And the child is hearing God speak. Astounding.

Then at group later that week, we were discussing David's anointing to become king over the nation of Israel in 1 Samuel 16. We considered that this happened when David was possibly as young as 9 or 10 years old. A juvenile. A preteen potentially. Anointed to be king over God's chosen people. In this year with a presidential election on the horizon, this thought is almost indigestible.

In bible study the following morning, a quick reference to Hagar's story was made in Genesis 21. She and her son are in the wilderness about to die. Verse 16 records the desperate cries of a mother begging for mercy. But verse 17 says: And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What troubles you Hagar? Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is."

Woah. Again, such few details supplied except a mother's request and God's response to an unrecorded prayer from a kid.

Wow! How many times before have I passed over these verses as if it was seemingly insignificant? God hearing, moving and providing on behalf of a boy. Jehovah anointing, what we would consider a minor, to be king of his chosen people. The I AM speaking and giving prophecy to a child that would be difficult at best for it's recipients to hear. Nearly unimaginable.

I have been thinking and rethinking about the three instances of God interacting with kids and I'm instantly reminded of Jesus saying "Let the children come to me, don't stop them. For the kingdom of heaven belongs to them," and "whoever humbles themselves like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

While stewing and brewing over all these accounts, one thing is clear: Age is of no discrimination to Jesus.  That's very convicting to me as one who defines a main area of ministry life as my children. In what ways am I being diligent to show my children this quality of God? How am I leading my girls to pray and anticipate God to move and respond? Am I myself expecting God to hear and answer their prayers? Such real examples in scripture that have come alive and I can no longer act as if I haven't seen them.

God speaking to children. God hearing little one's prayers. God anointing a youth to profound leadership.

How tired God must get of the small box I keep trying to put him in? I'm so thankful for his patient grace that not only choose me and adults, but chooses children. My children and yours.

Lord Jesus, your ways are so much higher than mine. You use the things this world considers weak and lowly to display your glory so that no one can boast. Forgive me God for when I brush my kids away and am dismissive of their thoughts and actions of you.  Continually remind me of how much you treasure childlike faith. Transform my heart and the hearts of my girls into a place where your kingdom reigns. Hallelujah that you hear my children's prayers! Open their ears that they may hear from you. You Jesus, are my and my children's righteousness, holiness and redemption. All glory, from birth to death, is yours and yours alone. 

They shall be called...

Yesterday morning my bible study took me to Matthew 5:9, a familiar passage of the beatitudes. It says this:

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God. 

A few things jumped out at me.

I learned long ago there is a great difference between a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. Far too often a peacekeeper isn't really keeping the peace. So much of the time in difficult situations we mistakenly think that if we don't say anything or just let stuff lie, then all will eventually be well. And, there are times that this is appropriate, however, I wonder if more often than not, this thinking proves more toxic than beneficial. It seems to me that the fear driven, forced indifference rarely brings real peace. This type of passive, responsibility-less, void of genuine love for another usually just brings a nice big pot to stew in, that eventually boils and explodes at the first stir.

To the contrary, peace making some times looks like having a difficult conversation with humility and compassion. Peace making sometimes looks like directly ending an unhealthy relationship. Peace making sometimes means standing up and speaking the truth in love with grace. Peace making is not always the most easy way out. Peace making, I believe, is often vastly different than peace keeping.

The other thing that grabbed me was the part that says "they shall be called".  I recently was taught a new to me method of studying scripture by learning how to ask questions to hear God speak. So my question is; who is going to be doing the calling? Who is it that is going to look at a person's life and say "Whoa! This person is a peacemaker. They must belong to God!"

I think there are several answers. First, I think God sees when we are living the sometimes difficult life of peace making and says "Yes! You are mine and I will pour out my favor on you!"

I also think that our christian brothers and sisters see when we are choosing to walk in genuine love for others and recognize the truth as they see it. And then the Spirit moves in them to heap blessings on us in gifts of grace and compassion, mercy and encouragement.

But the option that I felt God really impress on me as an answer were the people that have yet to have an encounter and intimate relationship with Jesus. John 13:35 came to mind which says this: By this all people will know that you are mine, if you have love for one another all the time.

It's only in walking with Jesus that we can ever have productive, difficult conversations. It's only in being led by His Spirit that we can have healthy, growing relationships. It's only by His power we can be bold and be strong in a fruitfully lasting way.

Real love for one another.
Being a peacemaker, not a pseudo peacekeeper.
Keeping in step with Jesus.

This is a life of blessing.

This is how I want to be called.

Full

My heart is so full today.

A beautiful friend in the hospital,
a very loved family moving away,
approaching holidays,
so many thoughts of love.

Seems to be a good time to check my focus.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in his wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of his glory and grace.

Thank you Jesus that even in the midst of so much life, there is nothing more captivating that you. 

Yummy Comfort Food - Creamy Chicken Corn Chowder

Fall is in full effect here and it's time to bust out the soup recipes. This one is from my sweet friend in Florida. It makes A TON so be sure to use a BIG pot!

Ingredients:

3 lbs chicken breast
1 qt half and half
1/4 chopped green onions ( I like a little more)
8 oz cream cheese
2 tablespoons minced garlic (again, a little more never hurts)
3 cans Cream of Potato
2 can Cream of Mushroom
2 cans cream corn
3 cans whole kernel corn
Tony's Chachere's to taste
1 stick of butter


Directions:

Boil the chicken.  Then in a separate BIG pot, melt the butter. Add garlic and onions. Now cut up the cooked chicken. Add cream cheese, soups and half and half to pot. Mix well. Now add all cans of corn including juice. Mix again and let simmer. Add Tony's to coat the top good, stir in and give a rest between sprinkles. The more Tony's you add the spicier it will be. Enjoy.

This soup is so good and every time I've made it, it has been a big hit. I love that it's so easy and pretty quick to throw together. Makes a lot for leftovers or serving a big crowd.

What's your favorite fall comfort food?

I've been thinking...

My amazingly fabulous hubby has been encouraging me to blog more consistently.  I do want to, I just get so hung up on trying to really be as perfect as I can than that more often then not, I end up not writing at all. So I'm going to try to be more faithful in posting even if I don't always have some cool insight and a great way to tie it all up. After all writers write don't they?  And getting better requires practice, so here we go.

Last week Jesus clearly spoke to me a fresh understanding of sin: taking my eyes off him. I've been thinking about that a lot. As I've been considering it, Galatians 1:10 has come to mind repeatedly. It says this:

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. 

I made the connection that guess what; I am a human being. I am people. (Thank you Captain Obvious for THAT public service announcement!) Yes, some days, I am just that slow. Haha

The picture I'm trying to paint is that it's not just a problem when I'm worried about what others think. Because wrapped up in that is a root of self. I want to be liked. I wanted to be approved. I want to be accepted and esteemed. So that means the truth is while I am trying to please others it is for completely selfish motives. I'm not sure I have connected before just exactly how linked these two thoughts are.

Then this morning I read Romans 6:16 which says this:

you are slaves to the one whom you obey, either of sin (remember, taking my eyes of Jesus), which leads to death, or of obedience which leads to righteousness. 

Slaves to whom we obey. There is so much to unpack in those five words, but the idea for me this morning is very simple. Am I obeying me, or am I obeying Jesus?

Not exactly a new concept, I know. But definitely a new layer of insight into my heart has been pulled back and revealed. Don't you just love how God's word really is alive and active, sharp and piercing, discerning the thoughts and intentions of our hearts? And it's in the hands of a skillful and attentive, accurate and gracious, faithfully patient God. Sigh. I love him so.

Your turn now. (Grin) What's God speaking to your heart lately? Any "aha" moments to share?

Tangled

I read an article once about the way that some people in third world countries train elephants. These people get the elephants when they are babies and chain one leg with a big heavy chain that keeps them "caged" and unable to escape. Then when the elephant's strength is needed, the chain is loosed and the elephant is made to perform whatever task is needed. When the elephant's services are complete, the chain is replaced. Over time however, as the elephant grows, the weight of the chain is reduced slowly till eventually only a thin string is needed to keep the elephant imprisoned. The elephant's memory of the pain from early in life provides all the bondage needed to keep the elephant trapped and at the whim of the people.

A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you that I woke up wrestling with an issue and felt God speak to my heart to press on. There were many verses in my bible study that morning that the Lord took me to. One of them was Hebrews 12:1-2 which says this:

Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of God.

The timing of reading this was so cool because that very week were the final days of training enabling me to run a 15K race.  I was so encouraged as I felt God was cheering me on for my race. But the more I thought about this verse the more I began wondering what weights I needed to lay aside and what sin was clinging so closely to me and not just in a physical sense.

In training for a race, endurance is the name of the game so carrying any extra unnecessary weight of any kind just doesn't cut it. But sin that clings so closely, that one seemed a little more tricky to identify. I decided to check out a few different translations on that phrase. The Message reads "no extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins." The NIV says "let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles." I like both of those. After reading them is when I was reminded of the story of the elephants in captivity.

I, and so many I know, are just like those elephants. We too were born into captivity, chained by the flesh.  Taught early on to keep all "the rules" and trained to perform and act rightly. Limited freedom came when we served as we were told and when we behaved in just the right way. But as soon as the expectation was met and the obligation was kept, the chain went right back on. And we were left alone and isolated. Wondering if our work would ever be good enough or ever completed so that real freedom could be experienced.

So what is this sin that clings so closely? This parasitic transgression? This error that so easily entangles?

It's when we are looking at anything but Jesus. It's when we are rehearsing our successes and faults. It's when we are obsessing over our guilt or lack of worth.  It's when all we can do is worry. It's when the only thing we see is our lack or someone else's gain. It's when every bit of our energy and effort is going for that next new toy. It's when we think consciencely or sub consciencely that that next bite, new outfit or one more workout will finally settle us. It's what ever way we are trying to cover that nagging pain.

This sin that clings so closely, this parasitic, entangling sin is the sin of taking our eyes off Jesus. The writer of Hebrews gave us the "how to" lay down this stuff in the directions. He says: "let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ( HOW?) looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of God."

You and I can never be good enough. There will always be something someone can make us feel guilty or unworthy over. In the physical realm, there is forever something more to want of every fashion imaginable. Just like that grown elephant who is really only bound by a memory, the deceiver is always throwing something our way that says "Hey look over here! You don't have this! You can't have that! You'll never get this!" All things that probably early in life might have even been healthy guidelines, but somewhere, somehow became bondage. Painful chains that kept us tied up and wrapped up and bound up and able to see nothing but the memory of slavery.

But here is the good news; Jesus was good enough! And he will NEVER use guilt as a means of communication. And all the work that needed to be done to make God happy is complete, that's why he's sitting at the right hand of God. And because of the shame he despised and endured, I don't ever have to wonder any more. Wonder if he's pleased with me because I acted right or mad at me because I messed up. I never have to worry if tomorrow is gonna work out. I don't need to ever again feel like I'm missing out on something, somehow, someway.

How can this be? How do we get to that place? Where does this happen?

By looking to Jesus. The founder. The perfecter. He is the one who began a good work in us. He is the one who is going to complete it too. To look to Jesus is the very definition of faith. Where he leads is out of captivity like a mighty elephant walking out of a thin string tied to his ankle and into real freedom. Looking at him instead of our chains. Looking at him instead of our pain. Looking at him, the perfecter of faith.

You see, every race is won the same way; with eyes forward, one step at a time.

So what do you think? Ready to lay aside some baggage with me, even if it's only memories?  Ready to focus in on Jesus? He's so beautifully, transformingly perfect. He's already freed our feet and he's enabling us to follow him. Straight to the victory line.

Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of God.

Press On

The other day I had a friend who was discouraged and I texted her this big long thought reminding her of who she was in Christ and encouraging her to not let the enemy beat her up about the past. I can't stand condemnation, self imposed or other imposed because I know that is not from the Lord. It absolutely drives me bananas and I believe it is a tactic the devil uses relentlessly.

As I woke up this morning I found myself feeling sheepish and embarrassed about some of my choices throughout the day yesterday, all boiling down under the category of wanting people's approval. I know that this is an area that God is doing to house cleaning in my heart. So I began telling Jesus how much I needed him and how much I was a mess. I opened my bible study asking God to speak to my heart and the passage for today was Philippians 3:13-14 which says this:

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

What beautiful encouragement to my heart. "Press on" he said to me. "Yesterday's done. Today is new. Lets move forward not backward." How tender is the heart of my saviour who knows my every thought? The Maker of heaven and earth is beautifully personal! See, I know that when I am rehearsing my faults and failures, that my eyes are not on Jesus. And I know that the more I am focused on myself, the more insecure I'm going to be. I've been fighting this battle for sometime. And I can encourage others with all kinds of truth and authority but for some reason, I haven't been able to hear my own words.

I'm not trying to say that there are no consequences to our actions, but I realized with fresh eyes today that when I'm consumed with me and how I'm acting, good or bad, I'm not pressing toward the prize of Jesus! The greatness of anything good I might ever be able to accomplish, and the despair of any grievous sin I could possibly commit can not compare to the completed work of the cross.

So if the enemy is bullying you that your good is not good enough, or that you bad is just too bad, shut him up by just agreeing with him. Truth is, our good isn't good enough. And our bad is worthy of much worse than we can imagine. But it's not about you and I. And it's not about how good or bad we act. It's all about Jesus and the work he already did.  And he said "It is finished".

So today is a new day. Press on. The goal AND the prize is Jesus.

An invitation

Every year at the ministry kick off in September, Trinity hosts a 24/7 church wide prayer time where members take an hour at a time to come and pray for the new year.  Last year when we did this, to be completely transparent, I was less than excited. In fact, the whole deal sounded really, ...well, ... like it wouldn't be my new favorite thing. I was greatly mistaken. What a gift to quietly press in alone with God. Fastest hour ever. This year I eagerly signed up for a slot.

We have a prayer room here that has been beautifully and carefully thought out. There are 8-10 stations that give directions and instructions for how and what to pray if you should choose to use them. The first is a praise stop. My favorite. My heart lingers here a while.

The second is a confession station that is set up with paper and a leading prayer to write out any thing the Holy Spirit may be speaking to your heart. There is also a 'Paid In Full' red stamp and a paper shredder to the right to lead you in the truth of God's word that promises forgiveness with confession.  The instructions at this table are topped with the following verse:

"Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall become white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool." Isaiah 1:18

My eyes read this verse so fresh and new. Did the Maker of heaven and earth really just invite me to come and reason with Him?

Maybe reason doesn't mean what I think it means.

Dictionary.com says when used as a verb reason means:
     ~to think or argue in a logical manor;
     ~to form conclusions, judgments or facts
     ~to urge reasons which should determine a belief or action.

Nope, it does mean what I think it means. How could the God of the universe, the omniscient, the omnipresent, the all powerful I AM ask me to reason with him? What does that look like? How does that happen? What does that mean?

Who am I that I could argue with God, or lead him to a conclusion that he himself has not thought of. Do I really think that I could change God's mind? That he would relent the things he has defined as sin and somehow I'd be "off the hook"?

No. Quite the contrary. As I sat and pondered these thoughts, it occurred to me it is exactly the opposite. It's not his mind that needs to be changed, it's mine. God is very secure in who he is. Don't be mistaken, He is fully confident and competent in being God. He will not change his mind on what he has deemed holy and what he has not. But it is that very fact of him being settled in himself, and with himself, that enables him to not be threatened, rattled or have to be defensive with me.

In other words, my sin, my messes, my stuff doesn't change the fact that he is who he says he is. And it is because of the fact that he doesn't change his mind about my sinful nature that gives him authority to invite me in to look at things from his perspective. He knows what a holy life looks like. And he knows that on my own, I'll never attain it. And the scriptures teach that it's his kindness that allows me his captive audience.

He knows the damage that sin does to us. He understands the pain and brokenness that come from it. He is acutely aware of the suffering and choking isolation that sin brings upon a life. It is this very understanding that moves his heart to extend an invitation to me that says 'Come, wrestle this out with me. I'm a safe place. I will not humiliate and exploit you over this. No, I will teach you and show you why this is not for you. Let me give you an understanding of what it is I have for you. Cleanliness. Righteousness. Holiness."

I was reminded of a few other places in scripture of God inviting us to come to him.

But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:9 

Come to me all who labor and are weary and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of need. Hebrew 4:16

This is such a different picture than the warped and distorted view of God I have sometimes. What a gentle invitation. "Come, talk with me. Come walk with me. Come, let me help you."

It is certainly not at the exemption of consequences or discipline, but oh how the heart remembers a lesson when guilt is recognized and acknowledged and then grace is given and received.

This is what it is to be known and to be loved.
This is an experience of love that casts out fear of punishment.
This is what it is to be refreshed.
This is the invitation, "Come."

Summer Fun

Is summer over already? Boy it was sure hot today, but the kids are in school so that means it's supposed to be fall right? I'm ready!

Here is a picture recap of a few of our fun adventures this summer.

                                       Fun in Abuello's BIG back yard near the mountains.

Some neighborhood horses near Abuellos' house.

Cousin fun.

Group hug goodbye for Abuello.

Cousin fun at the Lincoln Museum.

The girls and I went to Indiana beach and had a blast. This was atop the BIG ferris wheel.

A personal favorite ride, the swings!

Stinky Pete's fav, the carousel.

This was in the van on the way to Niagara Falls. Where is Stinky Pete?

There she is!! This kid loves tents!

Our hotel had the BIGGEST bathroom!

The Falls. So beautiful. Pictures do not do justice.

The Maid and Mister of the Mist.

On the way home we found the house where they filmed the movie The Christmas Story.

Playing around in the gift shop.

We also toured the USS Cod Submarine.  This was so fun! It was a self guided tour on a kept in tact actual submarine, We could touch all the controls, open all the drawers and and lay in the bunks. The girls couldn't believe how close the beds were.   

Checking out out the machine gun on top.

I think Daddy may have liked this part best!

The girls scored free tickets to 6 Flags for reading this year. We managed to pick up a few extra tickets and brought some friends. What a fun day! This was the first coaster of the day and everybody rode! (Some of us in the family are NOT coaster riders and refer to themselves as "the purse holder.")

Sweet friends.

Here we go!!

My favorite ridding buddy.

And this was the highlight of my day! I have been wanting to ride this ride for YEARS! It's called Superman, and appropriately so. After you are belted/locked in, the seats turn so you feel like you are flying through the air. I was the only one who was tall enough that wanted to go, so go I DID! Here is a short video of how they load you on the thing. It is the baddest ride I've ever been on! Can't wait to have a chance to go again, so very fun!

What a great summer this has been! But school has started now and we are finding our new rhythm. The girls are enjoying it. Mostly. Haha Still adjusting to the school day starting at 8:30 instead of 10ish. :) They both like their teachers and are making new friends. I'm excited to see what God has in store for the school year. I think it's gonna be good. 

How about you? Is your summer over yet?  What has been your favorite part? 

Right in front of me

Have you ever had one of those days where you hop right out of bed, get some good hair going on, and feel skinny in your outfit? You go on about your day seeing half the people you know and life is full of high fives and big smiles. Then at a quick glance in the mirror something grabs you and demands a second glance. All the sudden, you realize there is a huge zit right on the corner of your chin or side of your nose! Where did that come from? How long has it been there? How many people have seen you with that bulging thing today? Better yet, why didn't someone mention to you, this thing that now feels like Mt Kilimanjaro?! 


Sigh. Thankfully those pesky things that pop up with lightening fast skills usually are removable equally as fast with little to no sign of remains. I hate those bad boys!


I had that entire scenario happen to me this week. Only it played out spiritually. 


I was having a pretty good day, feeling pretty comfortable and confident. Connecting with some friends and having some laughs. Then late in the evening, Mike and I were discussing a particular situation and he said something that just rang in my ears. We were actually discussing someone else and he said "Sometimes people just cant see their own religion that's right in front of their own faces." Now that's not a hugely profound statement in and of itself. The saying 'You can't see the forest for the trees' is as old as the day is long, but for whatever reason this idea clocked me upside the head. 


Shortly after when I went to bed,  I felt like the Lord gave me a snap shot of my day and revealed some big, irritated and exposed religion of mine that was right in front of me. Multiple occasions. With multiple people. Yikes! Not good! I was so embarrassed and frustrated! How had I been so blind to my own motives? Where had that stuff come from? How long has it been there? I certainly didn't remember seeing that this morning! Sigh.


In bible study this week we landed on James 1:14-18 which says this: 

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Verse 15 and 16 were the ones that continued to show me where this ugly manifestation were coming from. Selfish ambition was the culprit. And it brings earthly, unspiritual and demonic wisdom, disorder and every vile practice. Yes it was vile alright, a big 'ol spiritual zit if there ever was one. 


It would make this a cool post if I had some scientific insight about the human body as to why those unsightly things surface and I could make some interesting parallel, but I don't. What I do know is that usually they clean up pretty quickly and relatively painlessly and most often don't even leave a scar. That's so like Jesus. Check out this passage in Isaiah where someone else had a double take in the mirror.

And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!"
Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for." Isaiah 6:4-7

As quickly as I saw my own junk, and confessed it to Jesus, healing was right there waiting. After repenting and asking for the Holy Spirit to come and lead me into life, the Lord comforted me with a few of his precious promises:

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13 

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

And then reminded me of a few truths too.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. James 1:2-4

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. James 1:23-25

The take away for me was this. Seemingly out of nowhere stuff can surface that I had no idea was in me. It is the truth of the depravity of my sinful nature. Given the right circumstances, my vile heart is capable of anything. But, confession and repentance bring swift realignment. Then seeking wisdom from above, which is keeping in step with the Spirit, bring a harvest of righteousness which is being in "right standing" with God. 


Oh how I hate the days where others see a side of me that is less than becoming. Especially when I'm oblivious! How humbling yet clearly the way of life. But I'm so much more thankful for his word and grace that extracts my impurity and fills the void all at once. Grace that cleans and heals, and reminds me "I'm still a work in progress." 


How great is our God? 


Jesus, truly your love is patient!  It is your kindness Lord that leads me to repentance. Thank you for grace.  Keep working in my heart Lord and take all the junk out until all that is left is a reflection of you! Your love is extravagant and I am humbled and amazed. All praise belongs to you God! You are a good God!

Times and Seasons

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven... Ecclesiastes 3:1

Wow has it really been a month since my last post?! Goodness gracious!! Well if anyone is still out there I thought I'd let you in on the latest season in our lives here in the flatlands and cornfields of Northeast IL.

First and foremost, IT'S SUMMERTIME!!!  And we are having a blast! Secret Keeper Girl parties, Vacation Bible School, a trip to grandpa's and cousins' houses in the mountains, theme parks, water parks, spend the night parties and bible studies, cook-outs and s'mores, fireworks and bike rides, the county fair and and every other manor of fun are going on around here. We have packed in a lot this summer so far and we are only half way through! There has not been too much time (or energy) for blogging.

Something else I wanted to share with you about why I have not spent an enormous amount of time blogging is that I have been writing in another venue. I am on a team of people who write sermon based, daily devotionals for our church body that are produced every week. I have really come to enjoy my time studying and writing in this way, but it commands a good chunk of my time. (If your interested, you can check it out here.) This however, has become such a joy to me that I never dreamed of! Preparing and working and writing in this fashion is new to me, but I absolutely LOVE it! I am seeing, hearing and feeling God in new ways that are so dear to my heart. So much so that it has been a big deciding factor that is ushering in a huge change in our lives.

I feel like God has given me a vision to do what I do here for Trinity in writing for other churches as well.  And in order to be able to do this, Mike and I have decided to end our homeschooling journey and give our children the opportunity to attend public school. This has been such a bitter sweet thing. Homeschooling has been such an amazing opportunity for us, one that I have loved immensely! It is a beautiful gift to be able to be with the treasures God has placed temporarily in our hands all day long. A gift I do not take for granted. But after much prayer and repeated signs of confirmation, this is where our hearts have found peace.

There is so much that is going to change in the next few months and I am so very excited to see what God has in store. He is so good and faithful, I just know it's going to be great! I know that as much as he loves me, He loves my children in the same manor and so much more than I even know how to love. This has very much been a process of me surrendering them to HIM, and recognizing how very tightly I have held them in MY mythical sense of control! I'm so thankful we serve a God who's so big aren't you? A God who loves me enough to call me out on my junk and yet graceful enough to never shame me for it!

So as we finish this summer season of squeezing life out of every second of the day, I'll try to drop in a bit more with at least a picture or two. Then in the fall, as we find our new rhythm around here I'll get back in my blogging groove. In fact there is a craft fair coming up in October where I will have a booth! I have so many fun ideas to make, show and sell! I'm so excited about that!

I hope you are having a wonderful summer and enjoying whatever season God has you in. He is so faithful! Be blessed in his favor for you, you are the apple of His eye!

Chat soon!

Thank You!!!

My friends that are moving to the Haiti/Dominican Republic border had an opportunity last week to go and visit the area they will be moving to. They posted TONS of great pictures of Face Book.  Go check it out.

I made a set of headbands for her to take to the girls there. Here are some of the pics. So precious!

The little girl on the right makes me giggle. 

This is the orphanage they will be moving into.

A typical home in Jimani.

The village of Batey 41 in Haiti.

This is the border. To the left is the Dominican and to the right Haiti.

This is the school/church room in Batey 41.

Vanderly and some of the local kids.

Stephen and the boys.

Love this one.

Thank you all so much for your support in helping my friends take the good news of Jesus to Haiti and The Dominican Republic. So far the headbands have raised almost $300 for them!! 

You guys are amazing!!!! 

THANK YOU!!   

I still have a few headbands left, get them quick!

Quantity

1 headband $3.002 headbands $5.003 headbands $8.004 headbands $10.005 headbands $13.006 headbands $15.007 headbands $18.008 headbands $20.00

What color(s) would you like?

OR 

you can donate to the Arnolds on their website here.

I will probably make another big batch with all new fun fabrics in August to help raise some more support for my lovely friends.  Thank you again so much, what a blessing!!!!

Free

I read the following over here. So good!!

             Jesus plus nothing equals everything!

Because Jesus was strong for you, you’re free to be weak;

Because Jesus won for you, you’re free to lose;

Because Jesus was Someone, you’re free to be no one;

Because Jesus was extraordinary, you’re free to be ordinary;

Because Jesus succeeded for you, you’re free to fail.