The Cul-de-sac of Pride

Last week a sweet friend took me to lunch for my birthday.  As we sat and chatted, she began sharing what she felt like the Lord had been showing her. He had been speaking to her about pride. I could identify so clearly. I told her, that I felt like I had been on this very road with God for some time now, just not maybe this EXACT curve. She began to laugh and said; "We are stuck in the cul-de-sac of pride!" So funny, yet so true for me! (The first thing that came to my mind was this clip from the movie European Vacation. LOOK KIDS! Big Ben!)


I feel like the Lord has really been calling me out on my every action revealing my motives. Every word, thought, effort and reaction. Dang! Will we ever get to the bottom of this? The following fictional story was a kick in the pants to me: 

One day Jesus said to his disciples: “I’d like you to carry a stone for me.” He didn’t give any explanation. So the disciples looked around for a stone to carry, and Peter, being the practical sort, sought out the smallest stone he could possibly find. After all, Jesus didn’t give any regulation for weight and size! So he put it in his pocket.  Jesus then said: “Follow Me.” He led them on a journey. About noontime Jesus had everyone sit down. He waved his hands and all the stones turned to bread. He said, “Now it’s time for lunch.” In a few seconds, Peter’s lunch was over.  When lunch was done Jesus told them to stand up. He said again, “I’d like you to carry a stone for me.” This time Peter said, “Aha! Now I get it!” So he looked around and saw a small boulder. He hoisted it on his back and it was painful, it made him stagger. But he said, “I can’t wait for supper.” Jesus then said: “Follow Me.” He led them on a journey, with Peter barely being able to keep up. Around supper time Jesus led them to the side of a river. He said, “Now everyone throw your stones into the water.” They did. Then he said, “Follow Me,” and began to walk. Peter and the others looked at him dumbfounded.  Jesus sighed and said, “Don’t you remember what I asked you to do?  Who were you carrying the stone for?”

The original post where I read that story was about suffering and joy, but God spoke to me so clearly through it about my motives and revealed more of my prideful heart. I read this quote on twitter by Susie Larson that impacted me and feel like is an antidote of sorts to pride: 

Kingdom humility is about really knowing who you are without feeling the need to let others know. 

Really knowing who I am. That's where there is freedom. I am His child! And my response out of amazing gratitude, is recognizing who HE really is and then lovingly obey. Will He not continue to freely give me all things? 


Thank you Lord for your great love for me. You patience is extravagant! How faithful you are even in my arrogance and selfish efforts. It is your kindness Lord, that leads me to repentance. Thank you for grace and it's perfect work. Give me eyes to see you for who you are: faithful and true, loving and long suffering. You are an amazing God!