"Help Me"

The second week of school in Lucy's workboxes she had a new science activity in a bag. This particular one had some geometry as well. In her bag were mini marshmallows and tooth picks and her directions were to build a cube and a pyramid, then make observations about both.

The cube she had no trouble putting together. Her little brain saw that almost before I told her what to do. The pyramid however was a different story. And herein lies my story.

The directions were to build a pyramid out of 6 toothpicks and 4 marshmallows. As we discussed what exactly a pyramid was and what it looked like, she got more and more stumped. She figured out how to make a triangle and that was as far as she got. There was no connection how to use 3 more toothpicks and only 1 marshmallow. (To her credit, I think doing the cube first is what threw her off a bit) However, frustration set in as well as a bad attitude.

She completely gave up and was uninterested in even trying. I tried to encourage her to just experiment, but it was of no use. She had already quit. By this time, I too, am frustrated because she has just given up without even asking for help. She is full on having a melt down about her inabilities and lack of intelligence.

Enter teaching moment.

She felt like a failure for not being able to get it immediately. She also had a quitters mentality that we addressed as well, but I wanted to share with you what I felt God teaching me about the situation.

She never even asked for my help. She just couldn't see how to make it work and gave up. All the while I am sitting right beside her, encouraging her, offering suggestions and possibilities, and they are falling on deaf ears. Only to result in a complete meltdown of self doubt and feelings of inadequacies.

If Lucy had only said "Can you help me?" I would have gladly given a resolving tip to her conundrum. But she didn't. She needlessly used so much more energy and emotion and had to learn this lesson "the hard way" evidently.

I was waiting to help her but she was insistent on a different train of thought. Even if I had given her the answer without being asked, it would not have changed her present mindset or given her the satisfaction of figuring it out.

How many times do I do this?? How many times, for whatever reason, am I completely stumped about a situation and see no possible way out, and quit to have myself a pity party and throw a fit about what a horrible person I must be? Meanwhile, my heavenly Father is right beside me building me up and hopeful for an invitation to act.

I am a big believer that God is a gentleman, and while He can do anything, I think He often waits for an invitation, because this creates relationship. But so many times I have such a mindset that is so counter productive that even the right answer is of no help to change it. I'm just in the mood to have a fit.

It was such an eye opener to me about how near to the heart of God the idea of relationship is. I think He wants us to ask Him for help. Not so that He can show us how much we don't know and make us feel stupid, but so that we can experience the joy of His presence and then the satisfaction of resolution to the problem.

I wanted to help Lucy! I am all for her. I wanted her to know the delight of working it out together and making a fun memory. I wanted her to have the thrill of solving the problem correctly. I am always on her side!

How much more does God feel this way about us?

So why is it so hard to ask for help? Or is it rather that I have just made it a habit to quit first? Either way, the lie of being all alone settles in quickly along with more lies about who I am and I miss out on so much.

I cry out with my whole heart;
Hear me, O LORD!
I will keep Your statutes.
I cry out to You;
Save me, and I will keep Your testimonies.
I rise before the dawning of the morning,
And cry for help;
I hope in Your word.
My eyes are awake through the night watches,
That I may meditate on Your word.
Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness;
O LORD, revive me according to Your justice.
You are near, O LORD,
And all Your commandments are truth.
Concerning Your testimonies,
I have known of old that You have founded them forever.

Psalm 119:145-152

Jesus, please teach me like the psalmist to cry out to You for help. I want to be persuaded by Your truth and stop enduring so much needless stress and anguish. Thank you that You are a present help. What a double blessing to have Your presence and Your help. Help me Jesus.

PS -The picture was taken post meltdown - off to the right are the 3 lonely triangle marshmallows! haha